LIFESTYLE

2 min read

Cuffing is for Suckers

November 22, 2017

News flash: You CAN survive winter without a significant other. For those unfamiliar with the term, ‘cuffing season’ refers to the time between November and March during which otherwise single people dive head-first into relationships in an attempt to avoid spending any time alone. Though settling down for a long winter’s nap solo may not sound as appealing as the alternative, we’re here to make a case against cuffing. Here are the reasons to avoid it at all costs:

Less ‘Me Time’

Do you realize how much free time you have when you don’t have to pretend to be interested in someone else’s life? Skip cuffing season and spend your winter nights focusing on what’s really important: Y-O-U. Learn how to meditate, wine and dine yourself, get around to that book you’ve been meaning to read for the past 3 years. Plus - sole ownership of the remote. Need I say more?

SHOW-down

Speaking of TV, the best of it happens to debut right smack in the middle of cuffing season. Now, it’s possible you’ll find someone with the exact same tastes as you but chances are you’re going to have to make room in your schedule for another season of The Walking Dead when you’d rather binge The Crown.

D-R-A-M-A

Any relationship that is born out of a panicked state of desperation probably won’t be smooth sailing. One minute you’re enjoying finally having a steady date to all those holiday parties, and the next you’re scream-crying in the backseat of an Uber. Save the drama for your mama (not really...be nice to your mom!) and just say no to cuffing.

Personal Space

Idealized snuggles actually mean losing your blanket in the middle of the night. Also, shower sex sucks and whoever says otherwise is a filthy (and shivering) liar.

Turkey Jerk-y

You’d think having a partner means twice the Thanksgiving dinners (aka double turkey) but what you’ll actually get in a new relationship is extreme anxiety over meeting your partner’s parents and when to interrupt their racist aunt’s tirade to ask for more pumpkin pie. Hard pass.

Cuffing Season = Holiday Season = Buying Gifts for Other People

Ugh. Spare yourself the headache of figuring out what gift conveys the message “I like you… for now,” and spend that dinero on numero uno.

Closed for Business

New Year’s is around the corner and while having a NYE kiss locked down works for some, we like to relive our dancefloor makeout bandit days by scoping out the best that this overpriced club has to offer.

‘Borrowing’

While straight girls may win the day when it comes to acquiring new comfy sweatshirts upon entering relationships, pretty much everyone else loses. Seriously, guard your flannels and hoodies carefully.

It Never Lasts Anyway

As Valentine’s Day comes and goes, it leaves more than stale candy hearts in its wake; it marks the beginning of the end of cuffing season. Spring is on the horizon, which means warmer weather, exposed flesh and absolutely no reason to stay tied down. Are those few months of companionship worth the emotional fallout post-breakup? Survey says… nope.

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